Yeah! Or I mean aww.... Today is the last day in 2011, means I will get older when I open my eyes in the next morning. Should I be happy or sad?
2011, is really a meaningful plus special year for me. Why? First, my life is being divided into two separate parts. First half is my college life, working hard to score well in A2, where my life is still full of dreams and hope. The second half, is my University life, where I become matured and get knew to many things that life isn't as easy as I thought.
Sweet and bitter, doesn't matter anymore. I still remember, last night, or maybe a long time ago I wish I could earn a lot of money, buy a big house and bring my family to travel all around the world. But today, it seems so far to reach. I don't know why my life would end up being like this, no aim no target, just hope to life well in everyday. And my only hope is, I can passed all my exam and graduate and find a work. Just a WORK, but not aiming for GOOD and WELL-PAID JOB. What a pity life.
Still remember, I was crying at the last day in last year, hesitating whether should I attend HKU's interview. Seriously, I wrote to them, rejecting the interview that night. But I changed my mind, in the second morning.
Well, I have to admit that I really regret that why I wanna go to that interview in last minute. I wish I've not. From that day onward, my life changed. HKU its like a nightmare, occupying my life for the whole 2011. And today I've prove that my fear to HKU at that time was right, this is definitely not my life. And she causes me to lose every single confident left in my heart. If I have a second chance, I really will reject the interview. Really.
Okay, I think the most 10 important things that happened in 2011 are:
1) A2 exam
2) Score well in A2
3) Say goodbye to so many bff
4) Enjoy my life in HK for 3 months and meet a lot of nice friends with different culture
5) Aiming for a pass rather than A in HKU
6) the HKU nightmare
7) Taiwan trip =P
8) Forgive an important friend =)
9) Study something that I swore not to study in my life and lose all my hope and target of life
10) Regret for not telling you that I like you LOL
Actually, 2011 is really not a bad year for me, at least, it should be rank the second coolest year in my life. (Best and the most insane year is Form 4 2008 =P And I know you knew why xD) I really will appreciate and always remember this year.
2012 is just 56 minutes to go. I'll make my wishes tomorrow. So goodbye 2011.
I will missed you always... =)
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Merry Christmas!!!
Today is Christmas eve. As usual, I never celebrate Christmas, especially after I grown up. But this year is kinda special, as I get to celebrate with my friends in Neway~ (Although today's gathering is just coincidence with Christmas eve =P)
Long time no see friends. And the first word that came out from you all's mouth is, omg you've became fatter!!! =.= Okay I'll try to slim myself down. No, is for sure I'm going to keep fit!!!
Hey boy, why you're getting thinner as I'm getting fatter??!!! Hate you A LOT. You're like always like to act in the opposite way as I am. But truthfully, so glad I get to listen your perli again today. =) You've not changed. So cool and lame as always. You know what, if I'm given the second chance, I'll chose to be quiet again. I prefer you to be my friends that always criticize me rather than ending up being silence with you.
Hmm, how are you guys in the far away land? Celebrating Christmas eve huh? Saw the picture you've posted. Nice snow. I really wish I was there. Haix. A Christmas without you would be very very boring, although I don't drink =P. Another guy, didn't reply my msg in fb. So I guess you probably are having fun in HK. In ttt I think? =P
Have fun ya everyone. Oh ya, and Merry Christmas!!! May all of us get good grade in our exam!!! =)
Long time no see friends. And the first word that came out from you all's mouth is, omg you've became fatter!!! =.= Okay I'll try to slim myself down. No, is for sure I'm going to keep fit!!!
Hey boy, why you're getting thinner as I'm getting fatter??!!! Hate you A LOT. You're like always like to act in the opposite way as I am. But truthfully, so glad I get to listen your perli again today. =) You've not changed. So cool and lame as always. You know what, if I'm given the second chance, I'll chose to be quiet again. I prefer you to be my friends that always criticize me rather than ending up being silence with you.
Hmm, how are you guys in the far away land? Celebrating Christmas eve huh? Saw the picture you've posted. Nice snow. I really wish I was there. Haix. A Christmas without you would be very very boring, although I don't drink =P. Another guy, didn't reply my msg in fb. So I guess you probably are having fun in HK. In ttt I think? =P
Have fun ya everyone. Oh ya, and Merry Christmas!!! May all of us get good grade in our exam!!! =)
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
=(
还记得
自己曾经答应过自己
“不要抱着任何希望去
就不会带着绝望回来”
如今
我在干嘛？
很沮丧
真的 我后悔了
后悔 为什么第一步
又再踏错
后悔 自己的自以为是
从 Academic Advising Office 走出来
第一次 在港大里
毫无目标的徘徊
平时 拥挤得不得了的走廊
如今 只剩下自己的脚步声
没有目标 没有目的的走着 走着
最后一晚了
晚餐 也吃的如此凄惨
说实在的
我觉得 我的人生
一年比一年悲惨
连我自己 都觉得可笑
老天爷 这种折磨
会持续到什么时候？
=(
=(
Monday, December 19, 2011
Second last day
10:00am.
The first thing that came across my mind at the moment when I first open my eyes today is --- two days left. Hmm, I don't know when I started to missed HK that much, or I scared that I can't meet my friends anymore?
Haven't started to pack. There are something behind my mind waiting for me to decide. I know I have to do something but I keep refuse to think about it. I can't avoid this for my whole life right? It seems like impossible for me to change course in HKU, and seriously I would never change to Business or Accounting pathway. So what should I do? Life sucks when we need to make some decisions.
You all are going to finish exam today and enjoy life. I really wanna write something again for you guys, but seems like I really don't have the mood now. All the best. See you all tomorrow? Perhaps... Don't get drunk too much ya. =)
The first thing that came across my mind at the moment when I first open my eyes today is --- two days left. Hmm, I don't know when I started to missed HK that much, or I scared that I can't meet my friends anymore?
Haven't started to pack. There are something behind my mind waiting for me to decide. I know I have to do something but I keep refuse to think about it. I can't avoid this for my whole life right? It seems like impossible for me to change course in HKU, and seriously I would never change to Business or Accounting pathway. So what should I do? Life sucks when we need to make some decisions.
You all are going to finish exam today and enjoy life. I really wanna write something again for you guys, but seems like I really don't have the mood now. All the best. See you all tomorrow? Perhaps... Don't get drunk too much ya. =)
Friday, December 16, 2011
Say bye bye to this sem~
Finished my last paper today --- C++. As what I had expected, it was quite hard, but at least I can do some. Hope I can pass this test although I quite enjoy learning it. =P
The moment I finished this exam, I can announced that I officially finished my course for this semester. Should I be happy or sad? Still remember what happened last night, when I was so emo and you called me. Haix. Kevin shouldn't have told me the truth. It hurts more... But I was so glad that you're willing to spend your time to cheer me up although you have exam on the next day... You know I didn't meant it for keep saying you ignored me. I know you cared but I'm just not satisfied. And I don't know the reason.
Kevin you this stupid guy you still don't get why I emo right? Okay I'll tell you HERE, if you still remember that I have this blog, then you'll know the reason. Because in your schedule THERE IS NO EXISTENCE OF MY NAME!!! Especially when you said okay I think I'll have time on the last night so maybe we can have dinner together. Do you know how wrong this sentence is??!!! First, what do you mean by last night??? Second, what is called maybe??!!! And third, just dinner??!!!!! Okay, I hate you seriously. You'll just think of drinking with Julie only. And you some more deny it!!!!!!
Argh.................. So emo now. And yet so lonely.... Everybody is still working hard and I'm trying hard to find something to do now. Haix.
All the best tomorrow you both guys. Good night! =P
The moment I finished this exam, I can announced that I officially finished my course for this semester. Should I be happy or sad? Still remember what happened last night, when I was so emo and you called me. Haix. Kevin shouldn't have told me the truth. It hurts more... But I was so glad that you're willing to spend your time to cheer me up although you have exam on the next day... You know I didn't meant it for keep saying you ignored me. I know you cared but I'm just not satisfied. And I don't know the reason.
Kevin you this stupid guy you still don't get why I emo right? Okay I'll tell you HERE, if you still remember that I have this blog, then you'll know the reason. Because in your schedule THERE IS NO EXISTENCE OF MY NAME!!! Especially when you said okay I think I'll have time on the last night so maybe we can have dinner together. Do you know how wrong this sentence is??!!! First, what do you mean by last night??? Second, what is called maybe??!!! And third, just dinner??!!!!! Okay, I hate you seriously. You'll just think of drinking with Julie only. And you some more deny it!!!!!!
Argh.................. So emo now. And yet so lonely.... Everybody is still working hard and I'm trying hard to find something to do now. Haix.
All the best tomorrow you both guys. Good night! =P
Monday, December 12, 2011
Can't believe I'm still writing blog now since tomorrow I have EEE exam. But I just can't stand it! I'm so distracted now!!! One of my friend is leaving today, back to Malaysia!!!! And I'm going back next week also!!! So fast!!! Haix... Sometimes time flies and you'll missed it more than you expected although every moment sucks.
Hey Jeff, although we meet up a few times only, but you really are a good friend. I don't know I can see you next year again or not, I hope I can. All the best =) Take care
Hey Jeff, although we meet up a few times only, but you really are a good friend. I don't know I can see you next year again or not, I hope I can. All the best =) Take care
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Friday, December 9, 2011
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Where is my future?
9:21am.
Suppose to finish biomedical topic 7 notes. (signal processing)
I never expect that I'll end up like this, studying something that I never am going to study.
But now, I ended up in front of the computer. Wondering. The more I study, the more I hesitate, the more I regret, the more I lose my confidence and target.
It's already the end of Dec. What I actually do want? That day, my brother ask me, what he should need to prepare if he wants to go US or UK to study? Feel so sorry that time when I told him, there's no way to go US or UK, Singapore or China are the only choices for him. Ya, its cruel to disappoint his dream, but, I just don't want him to get disappointed, like what I experienced before. The Manchester dream.
If I stay in HK, I need to decide my major by this year end. Electrical or biomedical? I really have no idea. Electrical is like a dead subject for me, totally no feeling at all. Biomedical, yes its fun. But it just doesn't sound firm to me.
All my friends decide to take Industrial. As its the easiest pathway. I'm wondering, if next year they'll be in the same class, they'll get more and more familiar, abandoning me aside. This though really makes me feel down, and this leads me to get away from here. As far as possible.
Numb again. As I know Zoe get into Perdana. Maybe envy her. And just now, when I opened fb. The first post is from you. Goodbye is a hard thing to say. You posted this. This reminds me that you're going to Australia next year. Everybody gets in their dream pathway, then where is mine?
Feel so helpless. Tears full in my eyes. But not enough to let me cry.
I'm 19 years old. I don't have any dream. I'm just a coward to make any changes. I don't even ask for studying pharmacy in UK again, as I've wasted 50k HKD in this 3 months. Really hope that there are some changes in my life. A better way...
There's no use to struggle now. Need to go back to biomed notes. Too many to finish. Bye.
Suppose to finish biomedical topic 7 notes. (signal processing)
I never expect that I'll end up like this, studying something that I never am going to study.
But now, I ended up in front of the computer. Wondering. The more I study, the more I hesitate, the more I regret, the more I lose my confidence and target.
It's already the end of Dec. What I actually do want? That day, my brother ask me, what he should need to prepare if he wants to go US or UK to study? Feel so sorry that time when I told him, there's no way to go US or UK, Singapore or China are the only choices for him. Ya, its cruel to disappoint his dream, but, I just don't want him to get disappointed, like what I experienced before. The Manchester dream.
If I stay in HK, I need to decide my major by this year end. Electrical or biomedical? I really have no idea. Electrical is like a dead subject for me, totally no feeling at all. Biomedical, yes its fun. But it just doesn't sound firm to me.
All my friends decide to take Industrial. As its the easiest pathway. I'm wondering, if next year they'll be in the same class, they'll get more and more familiar, abandoning me aside. This though really makes me feel down, and this leads me to get away from here. As far as possible.
Numb again. As I know Zoe get into Perdana. Maybe envy her. And just now, when I opened fb. The first post is from you. Goodbye is a hard thing to say. You posted this. This reminds me that you're going to Australia next year. Everybody gets in their dream pathway, then where is mine?
Feel so helpless. Tears full in my eyes. But not enough to let me cry.
I'm 19 years old. I don't have any dream. I'm just a coward to make any changes. I don't even ask for studying pharmacy in UK again, as I've wasted 50k HKD in this 3 months. Really hope that there are some changes in my life. A better way...
There's no use to struggle now. Need to go back to biomed notes. Too many to finish. Bye.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
I.M.Y
When I'm tired, I'll look back those photos in past. And this really comforts me a lot. I merely can imagine your face while staring at me and perli-ing me, or calling me "Chan-Jer-Wei" in Sara's tone. Its so familiar yet unknown. Ya. I missed you now. As nobody can teach me math and phy...
Still haven't reply your msg in fb. Not because I don't want to, but is I don't know what to reply. I really missed every moment last time. And I still remember the last msg I sent to you. The last msg before I came to HK... I don't expect any reply and I don't want your reply. That's why I sent you that in the last min.
Need to go back to study. Miss you always =)
Still haven't reply your msg in fb. Not because I don't want to, but is I don't know what to reply. I really missed every moment last time. And I still remember the last msg I sent to you. The last msg before I came to HK... I don't expect any reply and I don't want your reply. That's why I sent you that in the last min.
Need to go back to study. Miss you always =)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)